Sunday, October 23, 2011

10 Dating Tips from Tamara Duricka Johnson

I'm pleased to welcome Tamara Duricka Johnson, author of 31 DATES IN 31 DAYS. When I received the review request I quickly did the research and found that I could relate to Tamara and I was interested in reading 31 Dates in 31 Days. Instead of a traditional interview I asked Tamara if she would do a guest post on dating tips. Trust me when I say 31 days is a really fun read.




10 Dating Tips from Tamara Duricka Johnson, author of 31 DATES IN 31 DAYS


First dates tend to be awkward. That’s just their nature. But hopefully these tips will help ease the pain and allow for more fun.

1. When it comes to finding people to date, never underestimate the power of friends and social media. Your friends (and their friends) are great resources for meeting new people. If you choose to use online dating sites, remember that those are intended to be used for introductions, so be sure to meet in person as soon as possible.

2. Plan something simple, fun, and in a public setting. Instead of the standard dinner or movie date, I recommend opting for a local activity. Whether you choose to head to a museum or take a bike ride around a park, a new activity provides a shared experience and offers both you and your date constant fuel for conversation.

3. Set some boundaries. Before your dates, decide your own rules. How much will you limit your alcoholic intake? How late can you stay out? What are your restrictions for physical intimacy? If you set your boundaries ahead of time, it will be easier to remain committed to them if questionable moments arise during your date.

4. Tell friends where you’re going and when you expect to be home, especially if you’re meeting a stranger. This is an important safety precaution.

5. Try sticking to these Three R’s:
  • Relax - This is just a date. It’s a meet-and-greet, not a job interview or your wedding day. Think of this as meeting a new friend instead of a potential partner.
  • Respect - Even if this person isn’t your Dream Girl or Prince Charming, she/he may very well be someone’s someday. This person has taken the time and effort to meet you, so show respect.
  • Romance – Be kind. From the Golden Rule, to Karma, to the Third Law of Physics, we have been taught that what you present comes back to you, and the same goes with love. My personal motto is this: “If you want love, give it away.”
6. Sometimes it can be difficult coming up with good conversation. Try using the same tools journalists and business gurus use when first meeting someone.
  • Use the K.I.S.S. Principle. This comes from the acronym, “Keep it simple, Stupid!” Stick to light, easy, non-confrontational topics. After all, you’re just getting to know each other.
  • Use the 5 Ws (and one H) Ask questions that begin with who, what, when, where, why and how. These words are crucial when gathering information. They help formulate open-ended questions, allowing those you’re with to share more personal information about themselves.
  • Use the S.E.E. Factor Smile, make Eye contact, show your Enthusiasm.
7. Listen. Avoid dominating the conversation. Allow the other person to contribute.

8. Share your stories. Open up and be willing to share details about your life, your interests, or your family. Remember to think of talking to your date as if you’re just meeting a new friend.

9. After the date, instead of focusing on whether you want to see that person again, consider these questions: Did I enjoy my time? Did I learn anything about myself? Did I respect myself and my boundaries?

10. Write down your thoughts and impressions. This will help you realize if you’re learning anything from your dates and will help keep you honest if you tend to idealize your past.

I want to thank Tamara for taking time to stop by and share her dating wisdom. I am currently reading 31 Dates and enjoying the journey. If you want to learn more about 31 Dates in 31 Days visit: http://www.31datesin31days.com/

5 comments:

  1. Good advice. =]
    I'm looking forward to reading the book.

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  2. This sounds so fun! I wish this book had been out when I was dating!

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  3. Awesome advice! Can I add, don't discuss exes?

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  4. That really is all excellent advice! It's a little daunting to think that more than half of today's relationships start online, but at least its comforting to know that the "rules of dating" as they are stay the same no matter what. ;)

    Thanks for the excellent guest post!


    Smiles!
    Lori

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  5. What a fun way to interview an author! Great tips.

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